Sexual excitement and desire are fundamental to understanding human sexuality, for both men and women, without exception. What desire and excitement imply in our sexuality is often confused, and all sorts of gadgets and supplements appear to improve these aspects.
A large number of people around the world do not know what libido really involves, this misinformation has a negative impact on sexual life. Next, we will see how it is possible to increase libido without negative health repercussions or consequences.
What is libido?
It is necessary to know and understand that sexuality is essentially biopsychosocial, which means that there is an interaction of three dimensions: psychological, biological and social. Undoubtedly each of these components influences and affects our sexuality. These aspects must be considered as a whole.
Libido is understood as the sexual appetite of any person, regardless of whether it is male or female. It represents the onset of sexual response and gives rise to arousal. So it is undeniable that it is a fundamental phase in our sexuality.
Although for a long time it was thought that women have a lower libido than men, due to hormonal processes, today it is known that this is not so. Gender does not determine a greater sexual response. Through this erroneous idea or myth, many women have hidden their sexual desire, thinking that it was more of a man’s own.
Now, the development of the libido, how it is desired, the intensity in which it is desired and how the excitement manifests, is different in men and women, and even in each person. Various factors are involved in the libido, both physical and psychological:
- Affectivity, emotions and feelings
The libido, therefore, is not something stable, but rather variable, since in each period of our life it can be changing. Many times we do not understand what causes have led us to experience a lower sexual desire, a lower libido. This lack of understanding and knowledge towards oneself affects our sexuality, generating confusion, frustration, discomfort and impotence.
It is necessary to know that sexual desire is something involuntary and irrational, being one of the most primitive aspects of the human being. It is not subject to reason or social norms.
Sexual desire and arousal, what we call libido, is described in relation to the body, sexuality, and seems to be born from the lower abdomen. Why are there situations or periods of our lives in which we have a lower libido? This has been a constant concern for many people, who do not understand what is happening to them. Here are some answers that will help you learn about and improve your sexuality.
How do men and women experience libido?
Does gender influence the experience of sexual desire? Culturally it has been believed that men have a higher libido than women. As we have indicated before this is not true. They simply experience it differently. What are these differences based on? We’ll see about that below:
Possible Organic and Psychological Causes of Low Libido
Libido in women
Education and culture
Culturally, women have been denied their sexuality. All taboos and prohibitions have fallen on them. This cultural and educational influence has motivated women to experience sometimes a lower libido.
Unlike men, generally, the sexual desire of women is caused exclusively by the excitement of their partner. There is no doubt that hormones also play an important role, as they are secreted differently in men and women. Libido is produced by testosterone, which generates both sexes. While the male gender secretes it in the adrenal glands and testicles, the female gender produces it specifically in the ovaries.
The libido in women presents a greater variation, due mainly to the hormonal changes that take place in the menstrual cycle. A few days before ovulation, estrogen levels soar, and this is precisely when there is a considerable increase in libido. However, women who have just given birth have a lower libido at that time, as the more prolactin, they secrete the lower libido.
Libido in men
Education and culture
Men have also been affected by erroneous beliefs and social pressures. Today, in heterosexual relationships, men have taken on the role of being responsible for women’s pleasure, assuming that their partner’s satisfaction lies exclusively with him. This has caused many men, under such pressure, to develop even sexual dysfunctions, and to have problems with their libido and excitement.
Men generally have greater hormonal stability. However, it depends essentially on testosterone to maintain an elevated libido.
Testosterone is produced only in the testicles and is regulated by a hormone called LH, which is released in the pituitary gland at the brain level.
From the age of 45 onwards, men experience a drop in testosterone, which can influence their sexual desire by reducing libido. However, as we will see below, the reasons why libido increases or decreases are related to multiple factors, especially psychological.
Psychological causes of low libido (general)
The psychological aspect is a factor that cannot be neglected when we talk about sexual desire. There is a close relationship between psychological well-being and sexual well-being and health.
Some of the psychological causes that most affect and reduce libido, producing sexual inappetence, are the following:
- Affective and emotional problems.
- Boredom, monotony and lack of creativity in sexual relations.
- Periods of stress, anxiety and fatigue.
- Worries, lack of concentration and recurring thoughts (rumination).
- Ignorance of one’s own body and the body of the couple.
- Unrealistic expectations about what a sexual relationship is (pornographic influences).
- Shame, shyness and fears; resulting in limitations.
- Depression, demotivation and low self-esteem.
- Complexes and negative perception of our body image.
Conflicts with the partner, lack of communication and the traumas themselves are also psychological motives that influence sexual desire and satisfaction. Knowing the psychological causes gives us keys to know better our sexuality, and why there are occasions when there is a decrease in libido and lack of sexual appetite. That’s why before going to medications to increase libido you must take into account the psychological aspect.
Tips to increase libido
How to increase sexual desire? This is one of the issues that generate great discomfort to all kinds of people. To increase the libido can be much simpler than it seems, but of course, it is necessary to know what it is that favors and facilitates the increase of the libido and what type of things diminish it. We are going to give you some recommendations so that you can increase it in a totally natural way and without any side effects.
- Healthy lifestyles: avoid alcohol and all kinds of drugs. Exercise regularly and have a balanced diet. A good physical condition will affect your health, and in turn your sexual health.
- Sufficient rest: it is necessary to be rested, since if you are exhausted this does not favor sexual desire at all. Sexual potency is associated with the energy you have.
- Cultivate affection: If you tend to have sporadic relationships, your desire may have been affected by a lack of affection, intimacy, emotions, and feelings. Do not forget that affection can be an added value in sexual desire and that for a large number of people is even an essential ingredient.
- Leave room for spontaneity and creativity: Routine and boredom can be enemies of sexual desire. To ignite the flame of passion it is necessary to innovate, to let oneself be carried away and to get to know one’s own body and that of one’s partner better. To dare to know the erogenous zones and to introduce new elements in the sexual relation, as the sex toys.
- Avoid stress: stress is often one of the main causes that motivate a decrease in libido. In periods of stress you need to relax and above all disconnect from your worries, because otherwise, it is impossible to enjoy a sexual relationship. Anxiety and stress prevent you from feeling sensations and distract you from erotic development.
- Increase contact with your partner: the libido has an emotional component, so if the relationship has been neglected, there is a lack of affection and there is a distance, this will inevitably affect sexual desire. By increasing the gestures of affection, becoming more involved in the relationship and having a deeper contact with the partner it is possible to recover and increase sexual desire.
- Imagination and sexual fantasies: sexual fantasies are a great resource to increase libido. Your imagination has a great power, why not take advantage of it? In addition, it will give you many ideas so that you can put them into practice with your partner.
- Complete sexual encounter: we refer above all to the beginning, take care of every detail, the affection, the caresses, the gestures, the looks, and attend to your needs, what produces pleasure and what does not. The sexual relationship is enriched and sexual desire increases when you focus with your partner on the whole and not just the genitality (coitocentrism). All your skin is sensitive to feeling and enjoying pleasure.
Nutrients that can help sexual appetite
Much has been said about the famous aphrodisiac foods, which are those that help us increase our sexual appetite. A multitude of studies has been carried out on this subject, especially highlighting some foods and plants. Certain substances and nutrients have been discovered such as magnesium, zinc, and arginine, which is lacking in the diet can be noticed in sexual desire.
As we highlighted above, a balanced diet is essential. In addition, there are foods that naturally promote an increase in libido. Let’s see what they are:
- Maca Andina
- Tribulus Terrestris
On this subject, a great scientific revision was made proposed by the researcher Massimo Marcone, of the University of Guelph (Canada). Concluding that the true aphrodisiacs, due to the effect they produced in the organism, were the ginseng and the saffron.
Medicines that decrease libido
Considering how the biological aspect affects libido, it is important to consider medications. Most doctors do not know or do not give importance to the fact that there are medications that can affect the libido, decreasing sexual desire. In any case, it is recommended that the person taking these medications to be informed of what they may be assuming for their sexual life.
These are some of the most common drugs that have a negative influence on the libido, going so far as to decrease it.
Some drugs to treat depression and anxiety. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Drugs known as Prozac or Zoloft.
- Contraceptive pill.
- Tricyclic antidepressants.
- Proscar and Propecia (finasteride).
If you are taking any of these medications and have noticed that it has affected your sex life, don’t hesitate to see your doctor to show your concern.
In many cases, it is possible to replace the medication with a less aggressive one. Be well informed and don’t let your libido be affected by something you can avoid taking. It’s not just your doctor’s responsibility, it’s your own because you need to make it clear and report what’s happening to you and how it affects your sexuality and your life in general.